Love and The Avot

I was reading over the Torah the other week and I was struck by the passion Yaakov had for Rachel. It made me further examine the Torah, in regards to the relationships the forefathers had with their wives, and what I found was very interesting. It seems that Yosef, Moshe and Aharon were somewhat apathetic to their wives. No where does it say Moshe or Yosef loved Zipporah or Asnat, nor is there any sort of "intense" pasuk suggesting as such (As we'll see below with Avraham). And does anyone know who Aharons wife was?! In regards to these men, who get more mentioning in the Torah than any other people save the Avot. Fortunately when I examined the Torah's account of the relationships they had with their wives I was rather pleased, if not touched. If we look at Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov and the relationships they had with their wives we can see three types of love.
It never says in the Torah that Avraham loved Sarah. Although surely he must have as he preferred her to Hagar, and clearly had a deep relationship with her. When Sarah dies the PASUCK in Chayai Sarah 23:2 uses a very odd word "Viliyvkotah" "and he bewailed her". In fact this is the only time this word is used in the 5 chumshai Torah. Surely when one bewails another he/she must love them, the word is too strong to suggest otherwise. So why does the Torah not say that Avraham loved her and uses that word here? Perhaps to show that the love he felt for her reached its apex after she was gone. He missed her so much, and knew that his life would never be the same without her. Sometimes in life we only recognize the full extent of our feelings for someone after they've gone. Certainly Avraham loved Sarah, but his passion for her didn't fully bloom till she was gone.

It only says that Yitzchak loved Rivka once. Rivka sees Yitzchak davening mincha and they meet. Then the torah says in Chayei Sarah 24:67 "And Yitzchak brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother, he married Rivka, she became his wife, and he loved her..." From this we see that he loved her over time. He got to know her, saw she was acceptable as a wife, married her and after living with her and truly knowing her THEN he fell in love with her. So often in relationships we don't truly fall in love with a person until we really know them, and this often takes time. A couple can claim to be in love after a month, but I'm betting that 99% of the time that couple loves one another even more if they manage to last a decade together. Because only through time to we learn how to understand another person through all the ups and downs of life. Yitzchak saw a great deal of his mothers greatness in Rivka. And after time he saw that Rivkah had her own unique greatness as well, and then his love for took another huge leap, perhaps then it was solidified.

Finally with Yaakov and Rachel we see another type of love. The love that comes under the debated "myth" of the ever famous "love at first sight" scenario. Yet this is seemingly what happens.Yaakov sees Rachel, is empowered with super human strength, lifts the rock of the well, waters her sheep and then in Vayetzei 29:11 it says that he went over and kissed her (I guess shomer negiah wasn't in effect yet.) He felt such passion for her that he couldn't hold back, he was completely taken by her after only knowing her a few minutes. The couple then go to meet Lavan to work out the marriage arrangements. In 29:18 it says "Yaakov loved Rachel...." then in 29:20 it talks of Yaakov working 7 years and how "it seemed to him a few days because of his love for her.". (The Torah also points out that Leah was "unloved", as all Yaakovs love was for Rachel). Yaakov fell head over heels for Rachel from the get go, and was willing to do whatever it took to be with her. His passion was so strong that 7 years truly did seem like a day. This is what our culture would call "Cinematic love", the type that Hollywood perfectly exploits to the delight of the heartsick public that enables films with this type of love to thrive. But we see from one of the greatest men who ever lived that such love does exist, and is it possible to experience (interestingly enough Rachel does have a tragic end which also falls into the common Shakespearian/Hollywood mode of romance).
Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Sometimes the best thing in the world is right in front of you and it takes you a while to realize it. And sometimes lightning just strikes, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Anyone would be lucky to have anyone one of these things happen to them.
note- I hope I didnt offend anyone with this. I have no Mesorah for the chidushim I propagated here, but I do think what I wrote makes a lot of sense, and everything I used came from Torah Bichtav too. I was just going on the exact words te Torah used. But if anyone had any problems please let me know.