BETRAYED!!

"But things were going so well...."

I'm sure we've all been let down at some point in our lives. It's inevitable. We don't always get we wan, that's just life. Sometimes you have the power to change these things, sometimes you don't. Then there are those occasions where you either put your fate in someone else's hands or put your neck on the line for them. You take a risk maybe becuase you're friends with s/o and want to help them out, or because they make promises to you that you hope they keep. Whatever the reason, you try to be a good friend, and do what you think is the right thing.
I recently put my neck on the line for a friend. I hooked him up with a great job he really wanted, which he swore he would take no matter what came up, even thoguh there seemed to be some logistical problems in the way. My boss had concerns about hiring this guy, but I vouched for him, putting my own selfworth on the line. To make a long, painful story short, my friend simply screwed me over... Big Time. This isn't one of those cases where I was "kind of" wrong "a little" on my own (and those of you who know me know I'm very good at admitting when I am wrong). In this case my friend was 100% wrong. He knows it too. He feels bad, but that doesn't get me out of the huge pit I'm in right now. When you give someone your word, that has to mean something, especially when they risk something to do you a favor. Unless it's life or death (or maybe married or single) once you give your word to someone and they go out of there way to help you, you have have to stick to your word no matter what comes up (whether it's money, ideological differences, or even a change of heart). To renege in such a case is simply wrong. You putting yourself before the person who helped you is perhaps the most selfish of actions, it is a test of the yetzer hara, one it seems, its easy to fail.
I love helping out my friends, I truly consider it a privledge (and I know I could use the mitzvot). I'm doing my best here to control my anger, to do the right thing, to be a mentsch. But it's hard when someone betrays you. I guess blogging about it is the best way to let out my frustrations. Yet this betrayal is going to have a bunch of long term consequences, which basically just sucks for me, but there's not much I can do about it.
Did I learn anything out of this? Very little actually. The only thing I learned is not to trust this perticular friends anymore. I think I'd still be willing to put my neck on the line for the people I consider to be my friends (and there is a definitive line between friend and "acquantence"). I also hope in time that me and "The Betrayer" can look back on this and laugh, though I don't think it'll be soon, and I think that laugh in the future could very well be patronizing from my end.