The Big Masquerade

This Purim was without a doubt the most thought-provoking of my entire life. Brandeis was a more than adequate place to celebrate this joyous day, and I thank Maaarrrcccccc for having me. Though the mike was foggy, Tzemach Band did a fine job, with the illustriously blue Josh Becker dominating at drums.
I met several people over the last day and it occured to me that meeting new people on Purim can be very misleading as many of us wear costumes. I saw a middle-aged man dressed as a hippy who turned out to be the Rabbi here, and there are several other people who I couldn't make a fair assessment of because of their costumes (though Aroni's tight, revealing belly dancer costume certainly cleared up a suspicion I've had for some time :)- and then later it hit me ,and it hit me hard: who am I to make a judgement of anyone after meeting them once? This should seem like such an obvious realization, and yet it completely overcame me.
A harsh, and unfortunate critique that some of my former/current peers have honestly shared with me is that I can be a judgemental person sometimes. This is something I've been working on, and I think I've made a great deal of improvement over the last few months (right K?). Yet last night I saw where my problem stemmed from, and had another epiphany, one I know I've been aware of subcontiously for some time: we all wear masks, some more than others, but at some point we do cover up who we really are, whether from others our ourselves, and for a multitude of reasons. I think I've been wearing different masks for three years, bur more on that in a minute.
I have to work on not making assumptions about someone based on how people dress ("So don't put me down for the way that I look, what I wear-just the skin I bare"). If I see a guy in black pants, a white shirt and short hair I'll generally assume nice frum guy (just curious-how many of you would honestly think otherwise?). If I see a guy in ripped jeans, a t-shirt, sandals, and longer hair I would probably assume something different. I have to stop assuming. I don't know that the "frum" guy isn't going to a strip club, just as I don't know that the "bum" isn't coming back from an hour long venture of helping a fragile 90-year-old man on a walker from getting into his apartment from off the street. Heck the "bum" could daven three times a day with a minyan and the "Frummy" doesn't (not that I should judge them on that either). They're both wearing "costumes" and I have zero right to pass any judgement, and I hope I continue this is the future. Actions speak louder than appearances, and even then we are not aware of all a person's actions. The Chofetz Chaim teaches that we must always assume the best, even if the worst seems much more obvious, and the truth of the matter is is that this is a much healthier way of thinking. If we can think positive of others we can think more positive of ourselves.

Though I was 20, three years ago I was in a much healthier, happier, more mature place, and it's time I took my masks off and get back there again. Today is the three year anniversary of the Siyum I made on mesechet Megillah in honor of my dear grandmother and beloved uncle. From that point on the next 9 months of my life was without a doubt the best time of my life. I had overcome major adversities and put myself on a proper, holy derech- But I let my fears get the better of me, I took too many things for granted, and failed a test of bitachon, and have regretted it ever since. I think it's time to try to get back on that road- in some way or another. I know that if I do, and manage to stay on the derech this time (assuming I am succesful in reattaining it), I will not only be happy, but I will be sound in mind and spirit, and thus take great leaps forward in my life. I'll do my best to treat everyday like its Purim and (until I know them better) see everyone in their costumes. Only G-d truly sees everything.